“I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see
And now after some thinking, I’d say I’d rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me”
—Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes
Each generation is a product of the trickle down beliefs of its predecessors. I say trickle down because there’s an unintended message that drips down to the next generation leaving yellowed, patchy stains on the cultural morality of that group. This is not to shove responsibility off on that previous generation. There are many reasons why these cultural messages get lost in translation.
My generation is Generation Y. We’re the millennials who feel entitled to anything we want and become despondent when we don’t get it…according to some. The trickle down messages get communicated like this:
Intended message: “You’re special.” Unintended message: “You’re entitled to get what you want because you’re special.”
Intended message: “You’re unique.” Unintended message: “Others will recognize that uniqueness and immediately reward you for it.”
Intended message: “You’re capable.” Unintended message: “You’re currently capable of doing everything you will ever want to do at 25.”
Intended message: “Seek purpose and meaning.” Unintended message: “Structure and stability are dull and lifeless barriers to purpose and meaning.”
I read an article today describing Gen Y as mostly unhappy. While I don’t agree with the reductionistic stereotypes, there’s some merit in considering the “specialness” phenomenon. The article belabors important reasons for the development of discontent in my generation. It’s worth a skim if you happen to live with, work with, or generally/specifically know a millennial.
When fellow members of Generation Y come into my office and tell me they’re special, I’m happy for them. The knowledge that we’re all unique, purposeful beings who have something to offer is essential to actually having something to offer at some point in our lives. So, by all means, bask in the knowledge of your special and unique giftedness.
What’s unhelpful to any of us is the pairing that can go along with this celebrated uniqueness: self-absorption in the form of entitlement. For any generation, this trait diminishes our ability to offer what we’re uniquely capable of. It diminishes our usefulness due to our preoccupation with the payoff (e.g. “If I’m special then…” “People will view me as awesome.” “I’ll get a raise.” “I’ll have a more fulfilling life.”). That preoccupation distracts us from giving. And if we’re too distracted, any awesome traits we may possess are obscured and aren’t helpful to our communities. Not to mention the fact that our underlying philosophy for giving won’t have the community’s best interest at heart, but that’s for a separate post.
Let’s face it, in this self-absorbed state, we’re not all that concerned with being useful to the broader community. Therefore, this approach misses a key developmental consideration: our uniqueness doesn’t prohibit our functionality, it expands it, and vice versa. The more we use our gifts for something beyond ourselves the better we showcase our uniqueness, and the more our uniqueness develops, the more we have something to offer for a grand design.
Fleet Foxes, I’m channeling my inner millennial, here. You can have your cake and eat it too. You can choose to become a unique and functional cog in a world beyond your making.